I've decided to stop worrying so much about this whole Russian hacking thing. Sure, it's a bit worrisome if it were true that Russia was involved in trying to interfere with our election. And it would be even more worrisome if the president-elect was actively trying to misinform the public about said interference. But all that thinking is taking away from my enjoyment of the football on television!
I just wish Trump would come out and say something definitive about the issue. You know, put this baby to bed, as it were. Reporters asked him about the issue during his New Year's Eve party in Florida over the weekend. Was he concise? Was he definitive? Was he informative?
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| "I just want them to be sure, because it’s a pretty serious charge and I want them to be sure.And if you look at the weapons of mass destruction, that was a disaster, and they were wrong and so I want them to be sure.I think it’s unfair if we don’t know. And I know a lot about hacking and hacking is a very hard thing to prove. So it could be somebody else. And I also know things that other people don’t know. And so they cannot be sure of the situation." |
Okay, well... so... that's all we're probably going to get from Trump, assuming his tease of 'more on Tuesday or Wednesday' was just an example of his uncanny ability to allude more unexpected interview questions. If you think you can make better sense out of the patchwork quilt of nonsense that billows out of this man's mouth, here's the link to the video.
So let's go back to not worrying, because that was much more relaxing... except... well... there was that whole thing about Obama telling the world that Russia hacked the DNC's and John Podesta's emails to help Trump win the election. That's pretty worrisome.
Thank goodness for the clearheaded journalism displayed by Sean Hannity, of Fox News. Surely he will clear this up in a sit down interview with the founder of Wikileaks and human-sized sperm cell, Julian Assange.
If I'm going to move forward with this plan to stop worrying all the time, I'm going to need Hannity to put the bulls-eye back on Obama so my world can start making sense again.
Take a look at this fully realized confirmation that Obama is full of BS and we are now free to love Trump and to full-on mouth kiss Russia whenever we want:
Well there you have it! Assange, the translucent salamander-human hybrid, clearly said 'no' when asked if Russia gave Wikileaks the emails.
Unfortunately, I am pre-disposed to question whatever I see or hear when the Fox News logo is present. Did Assange stammer a little when Hannity quickly brought up the idea that it could be someone 'associated' with the Russian government, not necessarily the Russian government itself?
Assange's exact answer was, “Wugh… we… we… can say… and we have said repeatedly over the last two months, that our source is not the Russian government and it is not a state party.”
I mean, I guess it makes sense that whoever gave the emails to Wikileaks could have been contracted by the Russians for the sole purpose of distributing the emails to Wikileaks. That would make a lot more sense than Putin strolling into the Wikileaks offices with a manila envelope labeled 'the goods'... DANG IT!!! I would really like to stop worrying about this!
I suppose I could just focus on the fact that no one, not even Clinton or John Podesta, claimed that the contents of the emails were false or fabricated. That means that the American people got to see the depths to which Hillary Clinton would sink to be president. And those depths included... um... mostly stuff about how much she and the rest of the DNC hated those whiny Bernie Sanders supporters.
So even if Putin had joyously placed a manila envelope, bursting at the seems with email after email of Clinton-embarrasment, it didn't mean that Clinton was impacted once the focus turned to the general election.
- Burning from leaked emails, these Sanders supporters won’t back Hillary
- Who Are Bernie Sanders’ Supporters Voting For?
- Minnesota’s Bernie voters turning Green
- Many Local Bernie Supporters Plan to Vote for Dr. Jill Stein, Not Hillary Clinton
- Sanders supporters turn to Jill Stein: 'You should vote your conscience'
Gulp... well I'm sure that small group of angry, granola-eating, hacky-sack-playing burnouts didn't make that big of a difference in the final count, right? I mean, green party voters are in places like California and Oregon. Not in the important states like Pennsylvania, Michigan and Wisconsin.
Oh, come on! There's no way that a reduced turnout by young voters, disillusioned hyper-left-wingers, and a readily available third party candidate conspired to nudge just enough voters in just enough states to elect Donald Trump.
Sure, if you want to get all 'mathy' you could make the argument that Michigan and Wisconsin went to Trump because Jill Stein got 160% more votes than she did in 2012, which most likely came from angry Bernie-or-Bust freedom fighters disguised as dudes in their late twenties with beards, man-buns and a refusal to wear shirts with buttons. But Pennsylvania, man. Pennsyl-freaking-vania... Clinton still would have lost Pennsylvania, so there's no need to worry about anything. The Russian hacking thing (assuming it was Russia) had no impact. I can official go back to enjoying football on TV!
Except... it seems weird that Pennsylvania was the only one of those three swing states that saw an increase in voter turnout from 2012 to 2016. Why were Pennsylvanians so eager to get to the polls if that 'two bad candidates' narrative was true? Crap! I'm worrying again!
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